Today, I want to share the difference between a "will" vs "wish".
Often, I've found myself able to fantasize an outcome in my head.
However, I've also found myself unable to act on those desires.
I'd beat myself up for being lazy or undisciplined. Not only would I not be able to act on my desires, I'd also be finding resistance within doing the work itself.
Ultimately, I realized that my "Puer Aeternus" archetype was playing a role here.
Without going into too much detail about the archetype, a Puer Aeternus is someone who focuses on the potential of the future, rather than the reality of the present.
Let me explain with a universally simple example:
You're in your room, and finished using a sheet of paper. You crumble it up. You see the trash can across the room, feel lucky.
You shoot and... miss.
What's your immediate reaction?
So, let's break it down. The desire: Make the trash go into the bin.
The Puer pushes for the outcome, not the process. He wants the trash to go into the bin (∴ shoots it). When it misses (∴ experiences resistance), he doesn't want to do the work anymore (∴ leaves it there). At least, until conditions get easier (∴ when he HAS to get up anyways).
The healthy Adult (matured Puer), on the other hand, pushes for the process, not the outcome. He wants the trash to go into the bin (∴ shoots it). When it misses (∴ experiences resistance), he still does the work (∴ picks it up and throws it in the bin).
The Puer not only lives in the future; he also concludes "I've got bad luck" when things don't go his way. No. You just didn't move.
The healthy Adult doesn't see "bad luck" when things don't go his way. He sees "a need to adjust his aim" (∴ adjusts his aim and shoots again OR picks it up and throws it in the bin). He still accomplishes his desire.
The Puer doesn't have a will problem. He has a calorie-cost problem.
He's not lazy. He's just unwilling to pay the calorie-cost of reality (potentially, not even recognizing the cost beforehand). Their "will" just stays as a wish.
When I decide something (intention),
I pay the calorie cost (action),
and reality updates.
So, in essence, the difference between a "will" and a "wish" is the difference between believing that reality can be bent to your will through action. Will is not a mental event, rather it's a physical bridge.
"Reality bends to my will" = not magic, rather my decisions have teeth.
In Indian Philosophy, this is known as Karma Yoga. Taking an action without attachment to the outcome.
Fuel. Movement. Direction. No movement = no reality change (as in, the change is zero ∴ neither better nor worse). Everyone is always focused on the direction, but moving will tell you faster if you're going the right way.
If you miss the trash can:
Sankalpa: “I want that in the bin.”
Reality: It’s on the floor.
The test: Do you have enough Shakti (fuel) to override the friction of “walking over there”?
If no: You leave it. (Sankalpa < Friction) You train helplessness.
If yes: You pick it up. (Shakti + Sankalpa > Friction) You train internal sovereignty.
You decide. You move. Reality reflects.